It was a warm day in Tulsa, Oklahoma on June 7, 2011. A loud crash broke through the quiet afternoon, and people looked up to see Josh Hilberling falling from the broken window of his 25th floor apartment and land on the roof of the parking garage below. His wife, Amber, screamed in terror and rushed down to him, but it was too late. 23-year-old Josh Hilberling was dead. Five years later, serving 25 years for the second degree murder of her husband, Amber Hilberling would be found dead in her jail cell. Did she truly murder Josh, or was it a horrible accident? Did she decide that suicide was her only way out, or did someone in the prison murder her?
Who Was Amber Hilberling?
Amber Hilberling, born Amber Michelle Fields, was born on October 1, 1991 in Joplin, Missouri to Michael and Rhonda Bowers. When she was three months old, her family moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma. As she grew up and attended school, Amber was described as smart and athletic. She generally maintained a 4.0 GPA and participated in soccer, volleyball, track, and dance. She was a great writer and loved fashion, makeup, and shoes. Amber’s parents divorced and her mother soon remarried. She continued to live with her mother, Rhonda and her stepfather, Bryan Whitlock. The family was reportedly well known in the Tulsa area, and very well-off. Bryan was a successful plastic surgeon and Rhonda was a nurse.
Joshua Blaine Hilberling was born on May 30, 1988 in Tulsa. Patrick and Jeanne Hilberling said their son was a sweet boy, that he was always willing to neglect his own needs in the face of others. He was known for his bright smile and witty sense of humor. He had a large family, with three brothers and two sisters. He was a big football star in high school, in a town where football was a way of life. After high school, Josh was quick to enlist in the United States Air Force.
Josh & Amber
Josh and Amber met in 2008 at a Halloween party. Friends said that they didn’t initially hit it off, but after they began hanging out in 2010, it wasn’t long before they fell in love. The two were quickly enamored with each other and had what seemed to be a whirlwind romance. Amber often described Josh as the love of her life. She followed him to Texas as he completed his Air Force basic training. Soon after, Josh was sent orders that required him to move to Eielson Air Force base in Alaska. Since Josh and Amber weren’t married, she wouldn’t be allowed to live in the on-base housing with him. The two were quick to apply for a marriage license in August of 2010 in Wichita Falls, Texas and were married in a small courthouse ceremony. In October of the same year, the two moved to Alaska, leaving everyone they knew behind in Oklahoma.
Life was difficult for the newlywed couple in Alaska. They had no friends or family to support them, or for Amber to lean on while Josh was working. The couple’s relationship quickly became strained and the honeymoon period was clearly over. Amber was now pregnant and felt extremely alone being so far away from her family. Amber, described as someone who was used to being pampered, did not enjoy her new lifestyle. Less than a year after moving to Alaska, Josh was honorably discharged from the Air Force and the couple moved back to Tulsa.
the day of the accident
On Tuesday, June 7, 2001, Amber and Josh had been living in an apartment for about two weeks. They had just moved back from Alaska and were waiting for their house to be finished. Amber’s mother said that the apartment in the University Club Tower high rise belonged to her and Amber’s stepfather. This high rise apartment building was the tallest residential building in the state of Oklahoma with 32 floors, overlooking the Arkansas River. Amber and Josh had expected their new home to be finished by June 1st, but the ready date had been pushed back to the 15th. They’d initially been staying at Rhonda’s home, with the rest of Amber’s siblings and step-siblings, but Rhonda said that she caught Josh using drugs. With a no tolerance policy for drug use in her home, Rhonda kicked the couple out, allowing them to stay at their high-rise apartment. She said that this apartment, which was on the 25th floor, was used for patient overflow, when her husband had patients that came in from out of town.
On the day of the accident, Josh and Amber were deep into an argument. Amber, seven months pregnant at the time, said that the argument had been carried over from the night before. Amber’s father was getting married and she and Josh were set to be in the wedding party. Josh had apparently told Amber that he didn’t want to go, that he was going to Tennessee with friends of his to a concert. Amber said that she believed Josh was going so he could sell drugs. Earlier in the day, while arguing, Josh had thrown a laundry basket at a window in the bedroom. The window, which led from the bedroom out onto the balcony, had broken. Shortly after, Amber called the building manager to see if there was any way that someone could come fix the broken window. Luckily, there were two repairmen in the building already fixing another window. The two men came to apartment 2509 to evaluate the window.
One of the repairmen left the apartment to go down to the work truck to grab supplies, while the other man stayed in the bedroom. He expressed concern about how angry Josh seemed while he was there, and that he was concerned for Amber’s safety. As he moved out to the balcony to start cutting glass, the couple went into their living room. The man on the balcony heard a loud crash. His co-worker called from the ground to say that he saw someone fall from a window. He stepped into the living room, expecting to see that Amber had been hurt by Josh and that Josh had possibly committed suicide. He saw Amber standing in the living room screaming, and a completely broken window.
Another man was taking a break outside of his workplace. He heard a large crash and looked up towards the apartment building. He saw something falling fast. It took him a moment before he realized that it was a person flailing, facing straight down. Seeing that windows on high rise apartments don’t open, it was easy to spot the only open space on the building. A woman stood at the open window screaming.
Josh landed on the concrete roof of the 8th floor parking garage, making his fall from a total of 17 stories. Reports say the fall took only 3-4 seconds. Amber quickly went down the elevator and to her husband’s broken body. At only 23 years old, Josh Hilberling was dead. Despite his obvious traumatic injuries, Amber screamed for someone to help him. She kissed his face, continuing to shout for someone to help her husband.
The first officer on scene remembered the chaos. Paramedics were with Josh, and police were pouring into the building and parking lot. Officer Don Holloway said that his mind quickly went to suicide or an accidental fall, that murder was the furthest thing from his mind. He brought Amber away from the body, and suggested that he take her down to the detectives division of the Tulsa Police Department. Throughout the ride, Amber remained incredibly upset, asking Holloway if the paramedics were still working on him, if they’d brought him back to life. Once they arrived at the police station, Detective Holloway put Amber at a table in an interrogation room, letting her grandmother, Gloria, join her. Amber was not a suspect at this time, nor was foul play being considered. Holloway sat in an adjoining room, typing his report. Suddenly, he noticed that Amber was talking to her grandmother about what had just happened. Being that all of the interrogation rooms had cameras, Holloway was able to hear and see Amber and her grandmother. Certain phrases caught his ear, so he began recording:
“Josh is dead, I wish I could get it out of my head.”
“Everytime I close my eyes, I’m going to see it for the rest of my life.”
“I just want to know what was going through his head.”
“I want you to be here, just come back please.”
“This is going to turn into a nightmare, I killed him.”
Amber: “This isn’t fair, I’m a horrible person. Who could do that, who could do that? Push my husband and make him fall out the window?”
Grandmother: “Amber, quit saying you pushed him out the window. Did you intentionally?”
Amber: “No of course not. I’m gonna go to jail.”
Gloria: “Don’t say nothing until your attorney gets here.”
Amber: “I wonder if his parents know yet. They were right. They kept saying if we stay together, I’m going to kill him.”
Amber: “My last thought was ‘please catch yourself.’”
Fairytale or Hell?
As the story unfolded and the press became involved, a narrative began to write itself. People began to see Amber, not as a young, beautiful, pregnant widow, but as a murderer. Both Josh and Amber’s family came forward to tell investigators and the press of a marriage that was not as romantic as it seemed on the outside. They both said that Amber and Josh were victims and instigators of domestic violence. As things had become more and more strained while living in Alaska, the two had both reportedly called the police more than once on each other. There were many verbal fights that occasionally escalated to physical violence. Amber called the police while living in Alaska, after an argument with Josh had turned to him knocking her plate out of her hand, getting in her face, grabbing her right breast and squeezing it hard in an attempt to pop her breast implant. He left bruises and burst blood vessels on her chest. Police photographed the injuries and Josh was taken into custody, however no charges were ever filed.
Five months later, Josh was honorably discharged from the Air Force. Reports said that this was due to Josh’s abuse of drugs, as well as the fact that he was found to be selling them. Just one month before his death, Josh filed a restraining order against Amber. He said that she grabbed a floor lamp, pushed him, and threw the lamp at him. He needed both stitches and staples for a laceration on his head.Josh’s father said that he would often call him in tears. One time, he told his father that Amber pushed him down the stairs into the basement. Amber’s mother, however, reported that when the sheriff came to her house to serve this restraining order, both Josh and Amber laughed about the matter, not taking it seriously. Josh’s father said that the marriage didn’t make any sense, that he thought Josh was making a huge mistake
What Amber Said Happened
To this day, there are many speculations of what actually happened in the apartment, however, Amber has stuck to the same story. She recalled the repairmen arriving and her and Josh walking into the living room, continuing their argument. She described it as a yelling match, that started out from about 5-6 feet away from each other. Josh then reached towards her and grabbed her by the shoulders to shake her. Amber, saying that her first thought was of her unborn son, immediately pushed Josh off of her. She said that Josh lost his balance and stumbled back, falling through the window and to his death.
The Hilberling’s neighbor reported that he heard a fighting match coming from the apartment. He then recalled hearing what sounded like running from left to right, from the door to the window, a woman screaming “no, no, no,” a period of quiet, then the same woman screaming, “oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!”
On June 7, Amber was arrested and charged with first degree murder, largely based off of the statements that she made after being brought to the police station. The charge was later changed to second degree murder. Police believed that she meant for Josh to go out of the window that day.
Amber’s family was in disbelief that she’d been arrested for Josh’s murder. While the couple had their problems, they could not fathom that she had murdered her husband. The first questions arose around whether the police could use the tape they obtained of Amber in the interrogation room. Should she have been read her Miranda rights beforehand? Should she have had an expectation of privacy while in that room with her grandmother? These statements were incredibly valuable due to their proximity to the incident. It was ultimately decided that these statements were admissible. Miranda rights were only applicable if a suspect was being questioned; Amber was not. These statements were voluntary.
Amber was released on bond two days after her arrest. She gave birth to her and Josh’s son, Levi, in August. Beginning in December of the same year, she ended up having her bail revoked three times due to not charging her ankle monitor multiple times and failing several court mandated drug tests, testing positive for marijuana. Just before the trial, Assistant District Attorney Michelle Keely offered Amber a plea deal: admission of guilt and a sentence of five years in prison. This would mean no trial, and that Amber would be able to be out of prison, very likely, in less than the full five year sentence. She’d be able to be involved in Levi’s life. Amber however, declined the plea deal, saying that she couldn’t admit to something that she didn’t do. Finally, in March of 2013, Amber stood trial for the murder of Josh Hilberling.
The Trial and the Arguments
It was a big decision as to whether the trial would take place in Tulsa, as the case had been heavily publicized, and many questioned as to whether Amber would get a fair trial. District Judge Kurt Glassco decided that the trial would take place in Tulsa. In addition to ruling that Amber’s statements in the interrogation room were admissible, Judge Glassco also said that neither the prosecution or defense could bring up reports or allegations of abuse between Josh and Amber unless Amber brought it up first. He also ruled that Amber’s claims of Josh abusing and selling drugs were not relevant to him being pushed out of the window.
Witness statements weighed heavily with the prosecution. They argued that there was no way that Amber, 5’5 and 7 months pregnant, could’ve pushed Josh, 6’4, former football star and military trained, out of the window unless he was not paying attention. They believed that Josh had been messing with the television or looking out of the window, when Amber had gotten a running start from the front door of the apartment and pushed her husband out of the window. The witnesses outside of the building who saw Josh falling said that he was falling face first. Prosecutors said that he must’ve been pushed from the side or behind to fall this way. They believed that once Amber realized how poor the glass was, after Josh broke the window in their bedroom, she quickly made the plan to push Josh through the living room window. Investigators found no signs of a struggle inside of the apartment, and everything seemed to be in place.
Amber continued her claim of self defense. She said that Josh had always had a bad temper. She said he had a drug addiction, and that he would spend a lot of his time partying, out at bars and strip clubs. Photographs were shown in court of bruises to Amber’s lower neck and shoulders that she said were from Josh. Her defense said that Josh was falling at approximately 75mph, and that there was no way that the witnesses could have seen Josh exit the window and what his exact position was. He could have easily turned as he fell.
The day that Josh fell, his bags were found packed and looked as though he was prepared to leave. Amber said that he had packed already for his trip to Tennessee, the decision that had sparked their argument. Josh’s father though, said that he called him that day, shortly before his death, and told him that he was planning to leave Amber. He couldn’t stop Amber from using drugs while being pregnant with Levi; he wanted a divorce and was planning on fighting for full custody of his son. His father said that he was at work and couldn’t pick his son up, however Josh found a friend that he was waiting on to pick him up. Prosecution said that it was possible that Josh had been looking out of the window for his friend, when Amber, in a fit of rage that Josh was asking for a divorce, shoved him out of the window. They brought up a quote that the repairman said that he heard Amber say, just after the fall: “My husband fell out the window. I pushed him. He’s probably dead.”
Amber agreed that Josh’s bags were packed, however she said that he was the one who wouldn’t let HER leave HIM. She said that she was kicking him out because of their argument and said that she was the one who had asked for a divorce. She provided text messages that she felt backed up her argument from the day before the fall:
Amber: “I don’t believe anything you say anymore, so please don’t waste your time.”
Josh: “Ten min is all I ask for ill be home!!!”
Amber: “This is not your home, you’re just staying here.”
Josh: “I wanna have a home with you I’m sorry I been such a shit I’m done of complaining and always trying to spend my time with my friends when I should spend it with you.”
Neighbors also reported arguing just before the fall, hearing a male voice yelling, “Well what do you want me to do?” and a female yelling, “I want you to grow up!”
Paramedics on scene said that Amber said to them, “I pushed him.” During the trial, they had Amber recreate the push. No longer pregnant, they expected Amber to have more strength than she would’ve on the day of the fall. She pushed one of the detectives in the courtroom, hardly moving him, let alone pushing him hard enough to fall back, lose his balance, and fall through a window. They argued that she would need a running start.
Three hours after the jury was sent out to deliberate, they came back with a verdict: Amber was found guilty of the second degree murder of her husband. The jury recommended a sentence of 25 years. The prosecution was satisfied with the 25 year sentence. Amber broke down in the courtroom, realizing that she wouldn’t get to watch her son grow up.
after the trial
Amber’s family was incredibly vocal after her sentencing, particularly her mother. Rhonda believed that the police department and the press realized that they were a high priority family and that this would be a great story with huge publicity and high ratings. She said that they wrote their own narrative of “the rich bitch kills military hero” and that there was so much evidence that was not presented at trial that might have given Amber a chance. She referred to it as “the modern day Tulsa witch trial.”
In February of 2016, Dr. Phil interviewed Amber where she was imprisoned, at the Mabel Bassett Correctional Center in McLoud, Oklahoma. He was able to ask her some of the questions that she felt she wasn’t given the chance to answer in court. She said that Josh had started getting high again, and that when he went to boot camp in Texas, he went through withdrawal. Despite these claims, Josh’s autopsy was clean. He had been kicked out of the Air Force, and Amber said that he was not in a rush to find a real job. She said that he wanted to continue selling pills, and that’s why he wanted to go to the concert in Tennessee, rather than attend Amber’s father’s wedding with her. Everything escalated that afternoon, and when he grabbed her, she called him a coward, before pushing him off of her. Amber said that those were her last words to her husband before he fell to his death.
“I wish I could just go back and know if I pushed him, it was gonna happen.”
Dr. Phil said that he felt she was showing true remorse.
The Window
Mark Meshulam is a Chicago window expert who inspects high rise buildings. He was an expert witness during the trial for the defense. He wrote a full report of his findings about the window that Josh fell from. When Josh fell to his death, University Club Tower apartment building was 46 years old. While some of the glass in the building had been replaced, Meshulam felt certain that the piece that Josh fell through was original. Cracking and deterioration were visible on the interior side, with lots of caulking applied throughout. Amber said that there were often water and air leaks from the windows in the apartment. She said that the sound of the window breaking was like the sound of a small glass bowl breaking. The glass was not tempered or laminated. Meshulam said that if it had been, it was very unlikely that Josh would’ve fallen through.
“To put it mildly, the incident glass would break easily in the presence of moderate impact.”
The glass was 16.2 square feet around. The bottom of the window was just over 2 feet above the floor and the top of the window was about 6’5 above the floor. This meant that when Josh hit, the center of his mass would hit the center of the window. This was Meshulam’s summary of his findings:
“The Hilberling and Whitlock families suffered a fatal set of circumstances that came together on that fateful day. It started with domestic dispute, which brought Josh Hilberling in direct contact with weak, unsafe, poorly supported glass in a poorly maintained building on a day when chimney pressures were already pushing the glass out, wind pressures were sucking the glass (and him) out and the wall beneath the window added to whatever tripping may have been in progress. As happens so often in death and injury cases, factors piled upon one another creating a catastrophic result.”
amber in jail
Amber’s parents visited her often in prison, and would bring Levi to visit her, as much as 2 times a month. Her parents said that Levi believed that his mother lived in a castle, and was so beautiful that she needed guards to guard her. On October 24, 2016, Amber’s mother and father received calls from the prison. Both were left voicemails. They tried multiple times to call back, either being hung up on, transferred, or reaching no one. Finally, they reached someone at the prison. Rhonda said that person on the other end said only three words before hanging up: “She is dead.”
For the next eight hours, Amber’s family tried everything they could to reach someone else at the prison. They had no information about Amber or what had happened. Rhonda said that they had to piece together what happened by watching the news. They learned that Amber was found dead in her prison cell. Another inmate found her hanging, the cord of a curling iron wrapped around her neck. Fifteen minutes later, Amber was pronounced dead. Her autopsy ruled her cause of death as asphyxiation/hanging by suicide.
People who had been in the prison with Amber, both inmates and guards began reaching out to her parents, saying that they should be investigating her death. Amber’s family strongly believed that she was murdered. They said that she was neither defeated or resigned to the fact that she would rot in jail. She was hopeful and excited, dreaming of getting out and spending her life with her son. The night before her death, she had spoken to her son on the phone about Halloween costumes, how if he wanted to be Batman, she would be Robin. Her parents thought it was incredibly bizarre how they were contacted. Both Rhonda and her husband’s cell phone numbers were listed as Amber’s emergency contact, yet they had messages left only on their work phone numbers.
Questions were posed to the prison regarding Amber’s questionable death. There were cameras everywhere in the prison, however the camera that would’ve caught this was reported to not be working. The family doesn’t believe that any of the surrounding camera footage was investigated. It was also reported that this happened during a social time, that prisoners were out in the public areas. This would not have been a time that Amber would’ve expected to be alone or go unnoticed. Her family heard that Amber had recently gotten into trouble at jail and was sentenced to 90 days without visitation, which would’ve included Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Despite this possibility, they completely rejected the possibility that their daughter could’ve been suicidal. During her autopsy, scars were found on Amber’s arms and wrists, which were assumed to be from self harm. She also had scratch marks on the left side of her neck, abrasions on the right side, and red/purple bruise on the right side of her jaw, all of which her family believed was from self-defense.
Amber was also found to have meth in her system. There was severe damage done to her neck, and her sternum was broken, which was consistent with CPR being performed. They requested an independent autopsy, or to have a doctor that they trusted be present during the autopsy, but were denied. Many people said fellow convicts in the facility had a problem with Amber, the media attention she got, and the special privileges she received. People claimed that guards were mentally torturing her about Josh’s death, joking with her when she got close to windows. Someone even said they’d witnessed her being forced to wear a dog muzzle while out in the yard.
In September of 2018, a cryptic message was shared to the “In Loving Memory of Amber Hilberling” Facebook page. It’s unknown who it exactly originated from:
“Oklahoma Department of Corrections & Mabel Bassett Correctional Center are responsible for covering up the murder of Amber Hilberling and making it look like a suicide. Amber Hilberling was murdered by an inmate named Patricia Rucker “T-Rucker”
Hours before Amber was found hanging in her cell, Rucker (who is doing a life sentence) told Amber to go kill herself. Rucker was housed in a separate block than Amber and was not allowed in her pod, however the guards allowed it anyways. Rucker is in prison for strangling her girlfriend over 20 years ago. Amber was found hanging by the cord of her hair straightener. Her body wasn’t removed from her cell for HOURS. She was left there so long so that the prisons Internal Affairs department could get to the murder scene before the medical examiner.
There were claw marks on ambers neck where she tried to fight off her attacker and remove the cord.
Amber was working with Dr. Phil and had an interview coming up with the local news station KJRH. THE PRISON DID NOT WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW AN INMATE KILLED ANOTHER INMATE AND THEY LET IT HAPPEN AND DID NOTHING ABOUT IT.
Since Amber’s case was so high profile they had to cover up what they let happen. The warden of the prison and several guards ate McDonald’s and laughed about her murder all while Ambers body was still hanging. It doesnt matter if you believe Amber deserved to be in prison or not. Her 7 year old son deserves to know his Mommy didnt CHOOSE to leave him. Her life was taken from her and I will spend my life trying to prove it.”
24 hours before Amber died, she wrote a letter to a local news station that had been reaching out to her requesting an interview. The letter arrived at their station just a day after she died. She said that she would consent to the interview despite some reservations, saying that she would “because I can’t let go of the hope that using my own voice in conversations about my own life will be the one and only chance I have to change the circumstances of my own reality.”
To this day, no one will ever know exactly what happened in that 25th floor apartment, except for Amber and Josh. Amber’s family continues to fight for her innocence and to find out the truth of what happened in her jail cell that day. Rhonda is raising Levi and makes sure that he knows how loved he was by his father and his mother.
